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When it comes to parenting, communication is key to understanding your child. Not only being able to say what you want to say, but to be able to listen carefully to what your child is saying. Although most North American societies have anti-discrimination laws when it comes to lesbian and gay issues, many of the social norms and values still haven’t caught up. For many families it has to do with culture, for others religion, for others poor education. With today’s families becoming more and more diversified and moving away from the nuclear family of mom, dad and kids, today we are seeing more frequently, two moms and a child, two dads and a child, single dads, single moms. Here we’ll address specifically how to talk and listen to your child regarding some to the key questions he or she may face at schoolregarding his or her homosexual parent.
Below are some of the more typical questions asked of children by other children regarding a lesbian household, it is followed by some potential answers you may prepare your child to have as a response. You may want to choose the one that fits best with your child’s personality.
Q: Who is that other woman who picks you up? (Referring to mom’s partner)
- She is my mom too (if you’re comfortable with that)
- She is my mom’s partner or companion
- She’s family
- She lives with us
- She’s my godmother
- She’s my auntie
- She’s my mom’s friend
Q: You can’t have two moms
- I do!
- The law says I can
- I’m lucky, I do
Q: It’s not normal to have two moms
- For me it is.
- What’s normal?
- Many families only have one mom, or one dad
- Many kids have two dads and two moms, if they‘re parents are divorced
- Some kids have snakes as pets…that’s not normal, but they do
- Some people don’t eat meat, that’s normal for them
To prepare yourself to answer your child’s questions practice by doing the following:
Create a journal and write down the questions your child is asking you on a daily basis. Generate new questions based on these. Brainstorm a list of answers. Bounce those answers off your partner, or friends, or even a professional. That way you’ll be prepared.
Remember, there are no wrong answers; the idea is to help your child respond well to homophobic ally charged questions. A good answer will leave your child feeling happy and satisfied.
Author: Essie Reis
